Taking offense

            Years ago, I read an article in a college newspaper. They were interviewing a black athlete who attended a college with very few black students. They asked if people ever said anything to him that was offensive. I’ve always remembered his response. He replied that sometimes people had said some things that were offensive, but he knew they didn’t mean to give offense, so he wasn’t bothered by it.

            As I thought about his response, it dawned on me that when someone “says something offensive,” there are two possible reasons. First, they didn’t mean anything by it, so it would silly to take offense when none was given. (It might even be considered stealing, taking something that was not given.) The second alternative is that they meant it, but to let someone so rude “offend you” would be giving them too much power over your emotions, so it would be silly to let them. Either way, it makes no sense to be offended. On one side you’re being hyper-sensitive, which isn’t healthy, and on the other side you’re allowing a mean person a great deal of power and influence over your emotional well-being, which also isn’t healthy.

            Offense is like really bad advice: just because someone offers it doesn’t mean you need to take it.